Can Anybodyyyyyy... Find Meeeee... a Drama tooooooo...Loooooove.

All the fall shows have been announced by all the networks for their Fall 2009 Seasons. The results are a little disheartening. They are arranged by network below, and color coded according to type as such:

SCIENCE FICTION
SUPERNATURAL
REALITY
COMEDY
CARTOON COMEDY
CRIME PROCEDURAL
MEDICAL PROCEDURAL
SOAP OPERA
TEEN DRAMA

Those left uncolored and labeled, are those that are the only show of its nature in the entire primetime lineup:

ABC SCHEDULE
The Bachelor
Wife Swap
Dancing With the Stars
Shark Tank
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Dancing With the Stars (Results)
Supernanny
Castle
The Forgotten
Hank
The Middle
Modern Family
Cougar Town
Ugly Betty
Eastwick
Flash Forward
Grey's Anatomy
Private Practice
Desperate Housewives
Brothers & Sister

CBS SCHEDULE
How I Met Your Mother
Accidentally on Purpose
Two and a Half Men
The Big Bang Theory
The New Adventures of Old Christine
Gary Unmarried
CSI
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
NCIS
NCIS: Los Angeles
Criminal Minds
Numb3rs
Cold Case
The Good Wife --- LEGAL PROCEDURAL
Survivor: Samoa
The Amazing Race
Rules of Engagement
The Mentalist
Ghost Whisperer
Medium
Three Rivers

FOX SCHEDULE
24
Lie to Me
Bones
House
American Idol
Kitchen Nightmares
So You Think You Can Dance
So You Think You Can Dance (Results)
Glee --- MUSICAL COMEDY
Fringe
Dollhouse
Brothers
'Til Death
The Simpsons
The Cleveland Show
Family Guy
American Dad

CW SCHEDULE
Gossip Girl
One Tree Hill
90210
Melrose Place
The Beautiful Life
America's Next Top Model
America’s Next Top Model (repeat)
The Vampire Diaries
Supernatural
Smallville

NBC SCHEDULE
Heroes
Trauma
Jay Leno Show (Monday-Friday) --- TALK SHOW
The Biggest Loser
Celebrity Apprentice
Chuck
Parenthood
Parks and Recreation
The Office
30 Rock
Community
SNL Weekend Update Specials
Friday Night Lights --- DRAMA
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Law & Order
Southland

I think you all already know the veritable tirade of rage that boils within me at the fact that there is only ONE legitimate drama on the WHOLEFUCKINGSCHEDULE!!!...*breathe in**breathe out*breathe in**breathe out*...I'm dealing with it.

But what is this ridiculousness with Jay Leno getting an hour long talk show that cuts into the last hour of what is technically still primetime television (i.e. time for scripted shows)??? And, what? Suddenly we're back in love with the shitty dysfunctional-family/fatguy-married-to-skinny-wife sitcom? Let me tell you, my friend, the true situation comedy done the right way died with "F*R*I*E*N*D*S," "Fraiser," and "Will & Grace" (not to say that there aren't any good ones left, just that those new ones that are good aren't done in quite the same way as the old ones were, the humor has shifted to a new place). "Gary Unmarried," "'Til Death"...seriously?!

Don't even get me *started* on crime procedurals--those barely believable characters and fly-by-night themes on justice and heroism. If I have to watch one more alcoholic cop with marital problems who takes a hard boiled approach to his questioning, makes the "tough" choices, shoots first asks questions later, and just wants to "make time to be with his [goddamn] family" I swear to god....!! aaaarrrggghhh!!!

This frustrates me a lot because I *know* there are bigger, better, braver stories out there to be told, and risky writers willing and talented enough to take them all the way (I know this cuz i'm one of 'em!). Getting on the airwaves--or digital signal, rather, as of this Friday (have you gone DTV yet? DO IT!)--is still, miraculously, considered a reward and an accomplishment. You, as the head writer of a TV Show, get to bring a form of art *directly* into the nation's homes for a whole hour. But instead of saying something real or true, or urging viewers to take action, or any number of things that long-form storytelling on television can achieve...you choose to spoonfeed America with fortune cookie wisdom and dime store thrills...

I guess it isn't even the writers themselves. There's nothing wrong with entertainment and escapism and feel-good TV and all that, but the executives of the networks who buy Pilots think that overloading viewers with that is emotionally helpful in trying times, as well as fiscally responsible because--conveniently--feel-good TV is cheap as hell....and reality TV is cheaper still! I get that every citizen and every industry needs to tighten their belts due to economic hardship, But when you preside over the use of one of the most powerful systems of communication in the modern world...I would've hoped that the idea of balance would enter *someone's* head!

Give us the comedies: We can't live without them. Give us reality: We need to understand who we are, and who we might/can become. But when things get really, really tough, scary, or complicated for us: Don't serve up tired archetypes to lull us into trances of trustworthiness. This is the very thing we should avoid! or at least consume in moderation....Complicated characters in dispirate circumstances remind us of *ourselves*, remind us that things *are* hard, and hopefully--if we let them--help us see a way to fix things so that they won't be so difficult.

...*sigh* or maybe I'm just taking this wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too seriously, and it's just stupid TV...

I don't know, what do you think?